Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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