Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's blow job season.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
