im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
