She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
