Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
