I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
