Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
