Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize