Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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