Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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