There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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