she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize