if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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