i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
