i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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