I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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