i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
