So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
