he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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