Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
