Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
