hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
