I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
