I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize