youre lurking in front of me
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
