Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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