Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
