I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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