That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
