i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
