I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
if i can run in heels then i can drive
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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