this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
