Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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