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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.

  Fav 26 1721 3354

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.

  Fav 18 990 3343

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• (772): View more from Florida

  she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left

  Fav 20 1300 8251

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times

  Fav 14 1989 4787

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?

  Fav 17 6106 1260

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?

  Fav 2 2886 952

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.

  Fav 5 2633 1341

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.

  Fav 3 2837 917

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• (254): View more from Texas

  ...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

  Fav 13 1479 857

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Love me.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just for one nugget?

  Fav 6 3123 1058

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• (209): View more from California

  I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore

  Fav 3 863 665

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.

  Fav 0 369 99

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• (510): View more from California

  Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"

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