Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
be right there i have to get my cape
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