Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
