Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
