Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
