Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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