College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
