: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
