dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
