Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize