just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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