If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize