a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
