almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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