bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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