I bet he comes in French.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
