I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
