I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
