I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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