I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
