Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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