When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
