It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
