oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
