Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
