I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
